These Days

I've been feeling a little, well let's just say I've been feeling down. I've lost my direction. Here I was a year ago with a well thought of plan. A plan that had been prepared and even tweaked a couple of times to perfection. A plan that involved me having the life I wanted, or thought I wanted. Now, I'm living in a city where I have very few contacts, I'm on a "break" with the BF I was to marry, and I'm in something with the neighbor, Mike (you know the guy with the friend named Mike and the dogs, Mike and Mike, which is a whole other post). I like my job, but I'm not IN LOVE with it. It has been weighing heavy on my mind and heart these last couple of weeks the fact that a year ago I was getting married, probably having another baby and going to live out with the cows. Now, I'm single, living in a one bedroom apartment, bioclock ticking so loud it keeps me up at night, something with neighbor Mike and no plan. Why does someone need a plan you ask? Well, people like me, you know people who are borderline OCD and probably a bit bipolar, need plans for order in our lives. There are people who are fly by the seat of their pants kinda peeps and I applaud them for that, but I'm not one of those people. I think I used to be one of those peeps back in the late 80's, but not anymore. I get really nervous if I don't know what I'm wearing the next day much less being in her 30's with no plan. I really need to shake this pity party feeling I've been having, take my meds and make a new plan.